Lately, my calendar has gone rogue on me. It is beyond bossy. And it clearly thinks it runs the show.
Do you ever feel that way? That you are at the mercy of a jam-packed calendar (which really is just a visual reminder of the chaos you feel internally)?
You’re juggling married life and, if you are like many people, you are juggling the co-conspirators of married life – “kid life” and “work life” and “in-law life” and “church life.” No wonder our calendars go rogue on us.
Where does sex fit into all this? Is there even time for sex, let alone time to make it magnificent?
I’ll let you in on an ironic secret.
A husband and wife who mutually place a high value on their sexual intimacy are better equipped to tame the chaos of their calendar. That’s right! If you make sex a sweet priority, it will pay dividends back into your ability to do life.
Nurtured sexual intimacy endears you to one another. It helps you extend grace and get through the tedious details of the daily journey. Whether you got married two months ago or 20 years ago, you made a one-flesh commitment. Yes, “one flesh” means more than sex. But. It. Also. Means. Sex.
If you do not enjoy sex, have you really looked at the “why” behind that?
Is there past sexual abuse from which you haven’t healed? Do you have physical difficulties or hormonal issues for which you haven’t sought the advice of a doctor? Are there relationship issues with your spouse that really need to be addressed?
Are you not experiencing orgasm? Have you refused to see that sexual pleasure is good and holy and right in the context of marriage?
Maybe it’s none of that. Maybe you simply got caught up with the busyness of life, and along the way you placed everything above nurtured sexual intimacy with the person you love.
Hey, if that describes you, the good news is you are not alone. The BETTER news is that you can make it look different. If little or no sex is your normal, then it’s time to get courageous and create a new normal.
I promise you that it is possible to agree with God on His gift of sex, to appreciate the biblical fact that orgasm and sexual arousal are the Lord’s idea, and to discover profound ways to connect with your spouse sexually.
All of that is indeed possible.
Why not pull your spouse aside tonight and humbly say, “It’s time.” It’s time to enjoy each other’s bodies. It’s time to stop letting all the responsibilities of life distract you from authentic sexual connection. It’s time.
It’s time to say thank you to God for giving you the opportunity to make love with the one person to whom you’ve already given your life.
It’s time for some magnificent sex. Not “later” or “someday” or “when the kids are raised.” It’s time now. That bossy calendar has nothing on two people passionate about sex in their marriage.
Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com. She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband, their two boys and one rambunctious German Shorthair Pointer dog who refuses to stay in the fence.
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